How to Say No to Pizza, Cake and Co. (and yes w/o guilt)
Have you ever found yourself saying yes to food even when you know you're not hungry?
Maybe it's that irresistible slice of pizza or a tempting piece of cake offered at a party.
For years, I struggled with this same issue. Every buffet, every dinner out with friends, I'd lose control and overeat. It felt like I just couldn't say no, no matter how hard I tried.
I had enough, I wanted control back!
So I started avoiding situations where I knew I'd be triggered, like skipping buffets altogether and going for walks with friends instead of restaurant dinners.
Yet, despite my efforts to control the external situation, I still found myself giving in to overeating urges.
So, why does this happen? Here are two key reasons:
1. Putting Food on a Pedestal: Years of dieting and restriction had taught me to label certain foods as "bad."
As a result, I felt like I needed to eat them "one last time" before I tried to eat good again. This mindset only led to more overeating and guilt.
However, research published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology has shown that labeling foods as "forbidden" or "bad" can actually increase cravings and lead to overeating. When certain foods are seen as off-limits, people tend to desire them more and may engage in binge eating behaviors when they finally allow themselves to indulge.
2. Lost Connection with Hunger: Following strict food rules for so long left me disconnected from my body's signals of hunger and fullness. Signals I was born with and knew how to use as an infant.
I no longer knew when to eat, what to eat, or how much to eat. This confusion only fueled my cycle of overeating and dieting.
A study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition revealed that chronic dieting and restrictive eating patterns can indeed disrupt the body's hunger signals. Over time, individuals lose touch with their natural cues for hunger and fullness, making it difficult to regulate food intake and leading to cycles of overeating and restriction.
An extreme, but no balance which comes naturally when you’re in tune with your inner signals.
I won’t name you some more rules in order to have more willpower to say no:
This may seem like the right solution, but it will never work and will only lead to stronger urges to eat certain foods.
The fact that you feel ready to eat, even when you’re not hungry or haven’t even thought about the food beforehand, has nothing to do with willpower.
We just learned the two key reasons.
Let me show you an example:
I was once again on a diet or just convinced to eat the right way. That always meant no processed food, little to no carbs, and if I wanted a snack, it had to be something healthy—or gluten/fat/sugar-free. This made me feel good in theory but led me to fail in practice.
Because it was just not what I truly wanted and needed. Still, I tried for many years.
In theory, these rules worked. I planned it all out, but what I hadn’t considered was what to do when exposed to “bad” foods.
So whenever someone offered me cookies or I passed by a donut shop, I was triggered. I wanted it, and my willpower went out the window!
A better plan, a cleaner diet, and more rules didn’t work. I had no willpower, just false hope that it would magically come one day... and it never did.
But there is REAL hope!
Feeling powerless in the face of trigger foods like pizza or cake, even when you're not truly hungry/have an appetite for, can be frustrating and disheartening.
I know how it feels because I’ve been there myself for 9 long years (humus & co. wouldn’t survive in my kitchen)
But there is hope. Once you understand the real problem, you know how to solve it.
I thought I had to change my appetite, be more disciplined, or eat a better diet and was thus never able to actually change anything.
I was stuck in the trying-to-eat-good binge cycle because I didn’t know what to actually do.
My body no longer told me how to eat and therefore I was constantly triggered by all the forbidden food I put on a pedestal.
The answer was to reconnect with my body's signals and rebuild trust in my ability to make my own food choices.
This meant I was free to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Pizza became food I was allowed any time, so there was no longer a reason to eat it one last time.
I had to practice few steps to get there ↓
Understand your inner hunger cues: This step is crucial because it allows you to reconnect with your body's natural signals and distinguish between physical hunger, appetite and other triggers like emotions or external cues. Understanding your hunger cues helps you to know intuitively what and when to eat.
Learn to trust your body's signals: Trusting your body's signals is essential for overcoming the guilt and anxiety often associated with eating. When you trust your body, you can honor its needs without judgment or restriction, leading to a balanced relationship with food., that doesn’t require portion control or the like, because your body tells you when to stop by itself.
Able to eat anything freely: This step empowers you to break free from the cycle of food restriction and deprivation. When you feel confident in your ability to eat all foods without guilt or fear, you can enjoy a more varied and satisfying diet while still prioritizing your health and well-being.
Easily say 'no' to food when not hungry:
And then, you'll be able to simply say no when you're not hungry. The urge to indulge in 'one last time' disappears. So, by understanding your body's cues and respecting its needs, you can avoid unnecessary eating and maintain a healthy, and more importantly, intuitive (effortless) balance without rules or restrictions.
Here’s one way you can practice the above:
When you wake up tomorrow, don’t strive to be good or eat perfectly.
Strive to be satisfied, because that will automatically reduce the food noise, the constant hunger and boost your confidence to make your own food choices (time, ingredients, and portion size).
If you want step-by-step guidance…
In Back In Touch, I'll guide you through each step of the process, helping you understand your body's cues, build trust in yourself to achieve true food freedom.
I know, eating seems so exhausting right now, but it can be so simple. And I’d love to help you.
Join me today to gain access to all of the video lessons and practical action steps, and start your journey toward a relationship with food that makes moderation finally possible. Click here to get started now!
